by Joy Mar 12, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
secret love
It's so odd to me, |
by ---AL---
Second stansa, line 2 should be "just as friends should be" it kinda doesn't sound right or make sense the other way, i know you we're trying to get the rhyme out of it but you should never sacrifice quality for rhyming. And there is a typo in stansa three line one, "as" should be "has" besides that the poem is good, And i love the last two lines, great way to tie it off, keep up the good work! |
by PygmyPuff
I enjoy haw you made the poem a metaphor, rather than stating them within the poem.{5/5} |