I Stand

by Minkus   Mar 12, 2006


I stand... staring
into the silent, misty night
Staring at the outlines of the willows,
shivering in the cold wind,
their shadows flux once and again.
My shadow does not shift,
for neither does its owner--

I stand... frozen
in the silver moonlight
which brightens the mist,
and gives it substance...
I am frozen in the mist,
Impervious to the unheard ticking
of the clock that measures life--

I stand... untouched--
The mist swirls around me
while the wind sends figures
dancing through the night.
They swirl around my frozen form
and pass through me without regard--
Do they detect my presence?
Or am I unseen, unheard, unfelt?

I stand... listening
to the whispers as they fall upon my ears
like browned leaves in October,
warnings that a cold winter is to come,
Or like snowflakes in December
bearing reminders of the clouds
shrouding the life-giving sun.
These whispers are Death's heralds--

I stand... alone
waiting for another to emerge from the mist--
Another like me,
with warm hands to lay on my neck.
I wait and hold desperately to this hope, this dream
so that I can endure the cold emptiness that I find
when I stand staring, frozen, untouched, listening
And alone with my conscience

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    This definitely seems somewhat like a follow on to "Experiment", or an explanation to it, or even an adaptation to what "Experiment" was about. The imagery in this peace was wonderful, though I realised something; you can almost gain the same imagery from "Experiment" as you can from this one, even though this has more in-depth wording and more substance to it. The same image, the same feeling of coldness, of the dark, is created.

    Interesting. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by isabel

    I really liked this poem... the imagery is really marvellous... in:
    "I stand... frozen
    in the silver moonlight
    which brightens the mist,
    and gives it substance…"

    i feel like I can see and feel what you say, instead of only reading it...

    you have a great vocabulary (better than mine :) had to look up a few words in the dictionary).... And an incredible depth of soul... It amazes me, sincerely...

    I like the repetition of "I stand" - It emphasizes the image of a lonely standing figure... :)

    The poem flows very well, also... Which I find difficult in a free-verse poem... (never managed to write one with a decent flow... :) )

    5/5 doubtless

    *isabel*

  • 17 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Great imagery in this one. I felt like I was watching a movie while you were freezing to death LOL. Very nice job on this!

  • 18 years ago

    by Syn

    Very interesting poem and great creativity . i love the structure.

    ~David

  • 18 years ago

    by Sondos

    This was very original. I really did like a lot. I loved the imagery you used. The format and flow were brilliant.
    Well Done
    Sondos