She wears silk to bed, and you know this
Because you crawl in beside her.
She kisses you goodnight, and you wrap your arms around her
And hold her as she drifts to sleep.
And you too fall asleep
Maybe thinking to yourself she's so beautiful
Maybe telling yourself how lucky you are.
Me, on the otherhand
I climb into bed in pajama pants and long sleeve shirts.
I pull the blankets around me tight in this too-big bed
And only dream you're here beside me.
I cry myself to sleep
Sometimes thinking about how much I miss you
Sometimes thinking about how much I hate myself.
She awakes in the morning to find you still there
Still holding her tight.
You might have been watching her sleep
And you'll smile at her while you kiss her forehead.
You'll tell her good morning sunshine
Maybe joke about her messy hair
[ I bet it still looks perfect]
And then you'll tell her how much she means to you.
I'll awake at the same time
With swollen eyelids and bloodshot eyes.
I'll be clutching tight to my pillow, and I'll count the dots on the ceiling
And try not to cry again.
I'll remain silent and I'll lie in bed
and imagine living any other life.
Maybe even hers.
