Lined paper and a pencil

I whispered the words in my mind,
Fantasizing your reaction,
How you’d pity my life and its quarrels
Until I realize, this is my imagination.
Alone with my lined paper and a pencil,
The list of friends becomes extinct
The pain in my mind and the blood in my body,
Are the only realities to which I am linked.
My friends keep a distance,
Like reacting two magnets south to south,
In my dreams I cry with the people dear to me
In reality, the confessions choke in my mouth.

An angry monster has taken over me
Suppressing my anger, fear and torment
Within the deepest part of a soulless prison
Where utterances linked to bleeding are kept.
As I sniff the decaying flowers of history,
Wondering, where was the gratitude?
Eyes are weak with a gawking misery
Pleading, when will the loneliness conclude?
With lined paper and a pencil
I wait in a yellow misted desert
Looking in a 2D eye of paper friends
Weeping: “you’ll never know how much I hurt.”