If Only!!!

If only
if only you knew what you have put me through
if only you knew how much I hate you
But yet I could never live without you
your the only person i know that understands me
the only person who always knows whats wrong with me
But yet sometimes your so clueless
If only everybody knew me like you do then my life would be a lot easier
But I don't know if I could live if my life was easy
Even though sometimes I wish it was a lot easier

Sometimes I think you know me better then my mom
Because she knows me for who I am at home which is nothing like me
You know who I am at home even though you've never been there
You know who I am at school even though you don't come to my school
But yet you also know the real me the person I am around you
A lost,helpless,teenage girl trying to make it through the real world

My friends are jealous of me because you are my best friend
But somtimes I'm jealous of them because they don't know you like I do

You always say out of all my friends your the only one I can say anything to and you won't get mad
which I always thought was true but then you proved yourself wrong
I said I hated you and you didn't speak at all

I can't stand you
But I don't know what I would do with out you

Your girlfriend hates me somtimes because she thinks we like eachother
Just because we are so close
I mean I've got my friends mad at me because I was trying to protect you even though you didn't know it
You probably think I'm crazy because if anybody protects anybody it should be you protecting me
But your my best friend and if you know it or not you need protection to
this is the hel I go through everytime I'm around you

That is why I hate you
I hate you more than you will ever know

But yet your the only one I know who will always be there for me
I know you probably won't admit it
But I know you love me
Because I know if I was about to die you would put my life ahead of yours
I know you have been through a lot of stuff but so have I
The only reason I talk only to you when I'm mad is because you comfort me
But I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life!!!