Flowers

"And as the light fades away
So do those beautiful colors
That once brightened the day"
you broke your rhyme scheme. I thought your rhymed couplets were doing very well, but you should try to keep going with the scheme until the end.. it just seems like you ended with too much too say. You could even add another rhyme in to finish off with a new couplet.

Beautiful imagery. Good poem.
*whew* made it !

Wow, short yet jammed packed with details! gr8 work again! 5/5

I LOVE FLOWERS!
but I never thought to ever write about them..This poem was different and i like that!
I like a bit of rhyme to :)
And you do it so well!

Jen

Comment #14

This is my last comment untill you write another poem...your in my fav's and im going to start on your votes from me as soon as I can :)

Awe thats so cute! Sweet and simple! For some reason I can never carry off a nature poem very well... they just seem to turn out wrong... but i adore reading other people's nature poems! Your poem was so short and sweet that it reminded me of a little girl sitting on her lawn while twirling a flower in her hand and saying your poem!