You don\'t understand

I am not looking for pity
and if thats what you think that i want
Then you don\\\'t know me
and don\\\'t ever think that you will
this is who i am
i can\\\'t help that i died a long time ago inside
you have no idea what type of life i had
i am sorry i am not as good as you
i am sorry i am not a happy go lucky person like you
we aren\\\'t all blessed like you
you have good parents
you never get into trouble
you think your good at everything
i am sorry your not
when you have been through what i have maybe you would understand
but not all of us are as lucky as you
some of us have had a hard life
and you think that you can understand
but you don\\\'t really know until you go through it
I know you try to understand but i am just going to tell you this now
you don\\\'t
and you never will
not until you go through a living hell like i have

This is just me venting. someone i thought i was close to told me just to go ahead and kill myself. because he thinks all i want is pity anyways. but little does he know i am really considering it. and i hope he feels like shit when i do.