Bottled up feelings

You laugh at me unaware of the hate & anger bottled up inside ,a grudge against you.I feel pain emotionally & therefor, I inflict pain to myself physically, but you don't understand the way this pain feels to me, its such a relief to tear away at myself & take away all the harm you've done. What an alarm for you to see me conflict so much pain to myself physically. I feel overwhelmed. You see the sh*t you've done to me & the emotional pain you've caused me. I can't stop, this pain is such a rush for me to watch me cut away, while I bleed & plea, why me, why now, how could I make this stop & then think of what you've done, and as I drop into a never ending spin as my world flashes by me. I fall deep into a slumber as a never ending darkness surrounds me as the last few moments I have I think of my loved ones and then go. Then my parents find me in my room on the floor in a pool of blood but you are to late my fate was up & I shall not return for this pain I have yearned for to go away has taken me from this world today. What has this world become? A living hell that has just begun? A world full of hate. Is this why I died, was this my fate?