Why does it ?

I try to close my heart,
i want to get over you,
i scream to the world all night,
i don't think i'm going to pull through.

i wipe my eyes every time i see you,
i shed a tear when you walk past,
how i really do long to be with you,
how i just want me and you to last.

When i found out you liked my best friend,
i cried every night,
because i knew that you and me being together,
will never be in your sight.
she gave you all the signs,
that made you think she liked you too,
so then you asked her out,
and in front of everyone she rejected you,
you acted as if you were fine,
but really i could see,
all the anger and disappointment,
and you didn't even tell me.

when i cry every night,
i pray to god i won't lose you,
and in any sittuation that we will pull through,
why does life have to be so had,
why do i have to be confused,
about my feelings towards you,
about all the love that was used.

so i talk to myself all night,
trying to understand why it is this way,
why do i have to love you,
why did it have to be this day,
couldn't it be when we were 20,
when i could really marry you,
instead of just dreaming of it,
all the long night through.