Oh how difficult it is to live off old memories that will never re-occur
To have hope in something so bad; to actually convince yourself that tomorrow will be like yesterday
To be blinded to the point that you dont actually behold the nightmare surrounding you
Having no self-esteem, no dignity, and no pride
Looking at the hell that isnt ending and is going on as you release every word; breathe and feeling
As you grow, you learn to never let faith free and to hold on forever
But what is forever? Forever is long gone and life is continuing, moving round and round while I lay at the same spot I have always been when they all left and arent coming back
Oh how torturing it is to be deafened from hearing the slams they shut when they say goodbye
Or to be numb from completely feeling the scars they send or the invisible bruises deep down
The truth is easily distinguished and simple for them to behold
The harsh cold reality that is so frightening yet I know its true but I simply say It'll alternate and things will get better.
& that the never ending night will turn into a brand new sunlit morning but the blue sky is gone-- long gone
Oh how complicated it is to see your dream being grabbed and replaced with a nightmare you never imagined would become real
To hear their goodbyes but still wait ---
Wait for them to come and to erase all the inerasable things that they have done to you
Wanting them to be the angel in disguise they were from the awakening moment
Even though their true identity has been revieled and masks are off
Oh how saddening it is to feel so desperate; to take the sympathy they hand when they feel sorry for you
When you feel sorry for yourself
when you're ashamed; ashamed of everything
As I try to open my eyes; it's blurry but somehow, somewhere the truth is deep in the shadow
Waiting- Waiting to be believed - to be held
Reality is there waiting for me to accept it, waiting for me to give my final vows
Farewell - Welcome to the ruth - Its Over
