by Joel Mar 17, 2006
category :
Sadness, depression /
about death
I'm going to California I'm going to end my life going to end the pain night after night dream of the night i will die a little bit of pain goes along way tonight |
by ..eliSa*
My honest opinion would be that this poem needs some work. it has a lot of potential to is though, there is a lot of pain behind it and i think that if u were to fix ur formation and use some metephors to describe your pain it could "go a long way tonight" :)..hope i didnt cause any offense! good work, keep it up |