Words of depression

Trying to stop
wishing i could stop
these tears in which he made me cry
im not ready for all that yet
i need time
time to think
time to get my mind back
i dont know what i want
i sit in confusion
all the long nights without sleep
just crying tears all night long
im sick of tears
my eyes in pain
my wrist really kinda hurts
the throbbing pain is doable
not making any promises though
hoping all of it can end
i just want everything to end
im tired
i want to sleep but i cant
i know its my choice
but i cant sleep
mu mind wont let me
i know i have power to do anything
but dont want that power anymore
i dont want to be here
i want to be somewhere else
i dont know what i want
im soo confused