I remember that look in your eyes, the one that told me that you cared or when you smiled, it made me feel whole. You are the half of me that is missing…the one thing I need in my lifetime to feel whole. I remember when I would tell you that I was scared that you’d hurt me you would promise that you wouldn't You said you weren't like the other guys. I remember saying “I feel like you’re way too good for me you treat me good unlike my old boyfriends.†And what you said back made me feel so blessed “I’m not too good for you, if anything you’re too good for me. But those other guys they just weren’t good enough for you.†I feel as though I’m obsessing, but what is obsession besides an attribute to love…isn’t it? I know for sure you can’t help who you care about and I care about you. I love you but you’ll never know just how I feel.
But what is love anyways? According to the dictionary love is-A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.- or A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.- or
1. Sexual passion.
2. Sexual intercourse.
3. A love affair.
It seems that love has a lot of meanings. So what do you think? Is love an action or an emotion cuz personally I don’t know how love can be both. Love is four letters, one word, with bunches of definitions and the meanings are wrong. Making love, and love are two way different things and how they can put the same definition for the two I have no idea. Love is a feeling that is already there, you don’t need sex to love somebody. Making love is exactly what it says… making-(to cause to exist or happen) love. In no way are those two the same.
All these letters and words thrown on to a sheet of paper whoever thought words could have so much meaning. You look at this and think of it as a big mess, but when I look at it I see my heart spilling…pouring out for you. You however will never know that these words are for you, everything I do is for you. I truly love you. And I remember the days when it seemed as though you loved me too. I’m still holding on to that thin strand of hope, cuz I want you and I need you to hold me. You comforted me you were that one thing I could always count on and I’m still counting on you to fix this mess and make everything like it was before. I can’t live happily without you because you are always in the back of my mind. You’re haunting me torturing me and I just can’t forget you and our memories.
I remember when we could just be content in one another’s company. I remember when the feeling of happiness was mutual, and we could make each other happy. What I wouldn’t give to make you smile, and to hear your laugh. Oh what I wouldn’t give if you would make me smile, make everything okay…please? What would you do if I told you that I love you? I know there’s something you’re not telling me and I hope that the words you’re leaving out are I love you…cuz I need you to want me and need me the way that I need and want you. I remember when I I almost broke it off…and you cried. The tears weren't that you were holding them back I could see them in the corners of your eyes. How you tried to be so strong. I don’t want you to be strong, I want the real side of you. I know I almost made you cry and I apologize for that, but I’ve cried a million tears for you and you still haven’t fixed my broken heart. You still haven’t even apologized for breaking my heart. And now…I can’t even cry for you anymore I get close but the tears just hold back, I wonder if this is how you feel…maybe boys can’t cry?
Do you remember? Remember the way it felt when everything was right when everything was perfect. I remember when you said to me… “I’m not perfect you’re not perfect…but we’re perfect together.†You sure had a way with words. And now you’ve had your way with my heart. Is this what you wanted? What you expected? Or did you really once care for me? I wanted more for us, but what we want isn’t always what we get. But I don’t just want you I need you you’re my world you’re my everything, and here is one important thing I have to say… after all this writing…I give up.
