Comments : What is the deal

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "What is the deal between you and me, like you say just wait and see"

    After "me" there should be a question mark.

    Then the rest of the line should be worded like this: "All you say to me is just wait and see".

    "We've been dating about 3 years but you still haven't said you love me"

    Place a comma after "years" and add a period after "me".

    "I wish you could realize that I truly and really do love you so why do you still remain to hit me"

    Place a comma after "really do love you...." and then add a question mark at the end of this line.

    "there have been times where I want to kill myself just so i can rid of time but i know I can't cause I have a kid and a family"

    Capitalize all of your" i"s and add a "get" after "can". Place a comma after "rid of time".

    Put a period at the end of this line.

    "you knocked me out, broke my nose so many times"

    Clean up this line to this:

    "You knocked me out, and broke my nose so many times."

    Don't forget after a sentence has ended, and the first word of the new sentence is there, the first letter of that first word needs to be capitalized, like I have shown above.

    "I sit in the bathroom wondering about what happen to the good times"

    Delete the "about" and change "happen" to "happened".

    Add a question mark after "times".

    "so please can you tell me what is the deal between you and me"

    Place a question mark after "me". And capitalize the "s" in "so".

    3/5 from me, I could barely read this poem because of the grammar errors and the format. Try writing your poems in stanza's, that way it will be much easier to read.

    Take care and God Bless You And Your Family!