In the second from last line it may flow better if you made it 'the real'
apart from that
awwness

If find this so hard to read sole.
It breaks me...(like walnuts)...
I wish I could help you...your smile today would light a city....

[lostlaureate - come find me]

If find this so hard to read sole.
It breaks me...(like walnuts)...
I wish I could help you...your smile today would light a city....

[lostlaureate - come find me]

That was good. well done
xxxxx

A very sweet poem.... Love is a hard thing to see.. and it's also hard to tell someone your feelings.. well, atlest for me.

Very nice work :)

I can absolutely relate to that feeling of yours. That the person you like, doesn't like you back. . Or.. they just simply cannot see it. It's very frustrating!! I've been through it, as well. This poem was well done and greatly expressed.. 5/5.

"I need to understand
Why you can't guess the truth
Is it because you can't stand
The fact that I'm in love with you?"

^^ "Truth" and "you" are not proper rhymes. Maybe rethink those?

"Is it you already know?
But don't know what to do
Who to turn to? Where to go?
Don't want to believe that I love you"

^^ In the first line, I think you should say.. "Is it that you already know?" And In the third line, maybe only use one question, rather than two.

"Maybe your in love with me
And don't know how to tell
An impossibility
I know because I know you well"

^^ In the first line, "your" should be "you're". And I think you should make the third line longer to even the lines up. In the fourth line, I'm not too fond of the repetition of "I know", but it works.

"Perhaps thats what it will take
The truth instead of lies
So I can tell real from fake
And no longer fantasise"

^^ In the fourth line, "fantasise" should be "fantasize", I believe.

Overall; I liked the poem. It was a good piece based upon desired love. I've been through this before, but luckily it worked out well for me. And I think if you really feel this way about someone, you should tell them. You never know. :]

5/5

``Briana

This was a solid poem. But since you wanted constructive criticism, I'm gonna give my opinion. Not to much wrong really. I was a little dissapointed though because you drifted away from your rhymes. It started out rhyming, but ended up plain. The only other thing I can think of was that you squeezed some syllables on some lines. Made it a tight read. I'm only saying that though because you asked what could be better.

It was a good poem. Nice work. =)

This was a great write. very pure and i can tell it came from your heart and that's all that matters. job well done! 5/5.

-Ashlei.