Heart Shaped Pool Of Blood

I sit in front of the frost covered window, every single night
The moon glistens as the clouds soar around the sky
I hear the phone ringing, fantasize it as you
But you have already done enough to me, already done your share
The stereo blares the mixed tapes we made together
Thoughts of us flow through my pounding mind
I see us dancing, spinning around and around
On the fair grounds last July, the first I love you is whispered in my ear
I was falling too fast, I had already known
But instead, I persisted on sticking with you.
My heart fluttered, whenever your name was spoken
My mind over flooded with thoughts of you
I felt my heart break when I gave it away to you, and the day that you gave it back
But what I dont understand is why you told me that you loved me just before
I fell for you way too fast, I was head over high heels in love
I changed myself day after day to try and impress you
I tried so hard to overcome my past for a better tomorrow
I sit in the pouring rain in the middle of the park
Tears mixing with droplets of rain
The days that I held your hand run through my mind
As I cross the monkey bars
The days of laying in your arms, just passing the time together come back to me
As I stand above the slide, gun in my trembling hand
Bullet chamber empty, the only bullet I found lies in my hand
I sit down on the edge of the slide, knife in one hand, bullet in other
I slowly carve your name around the bullet shell
Load the bullet into the chamber and raise the gun to my head
Hoping to God that this will end all of the pain and agony that you are putting me through
All sense of time drowned within my sorrows
Mistakes and regrets embedded into my mind
I can not help but feel that it was all my fault
Can't help but to take the blame for the way that things had ended between us
I take a deep breath, close my eyes, pull the trigger, and fall down the slide
My head hits the slide, my breathing gets fainter
I lay in a pool of my own blood encrusted with memories
Rains falls down, and swirls the blood around
And as I fade away, I see your face within the lightning
Smiling at me like you used to, after all, people always said we had so much in common
You killed yourself for love, and I did too.
I run to you, tears streaming down my face
And I feel your warm arms wrapped around me once again
As I look down at the empty gazes beneath me
Looking at the immature little girl laying in a heart shaped pool of blood.

© Jenna Elphick
March 21, 2006