Regretting forgetting

by xX-jess-Xx   Mar 22, 2006


I live to forget,
every breath i regret.
You were my air,
my vanity fair.

You can't comprehend,
the hurt that you send.
With the looks that you shoot me,
and the life that you took from me.

Weighed down with words,
over dramatic verbs.
They're all I have to remind me,
I'll write them so you'l find me.

Happiness hates me,
Misery dates me.
Dead and gone,
your battle is won.

**this definitely isn't finished but can you tell me what you think so far?? pleas**

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    Keep going, I agree with Kaylee, you should definately get rid of 'and' as it will give the poem a little more flow. The wording and rhyming is good, although you can tell the poem isn't finished, which is a good thing, as you're adding more. I won't rate yet, but pause until you have posted the whole poem :) Keep at it!

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenny

    Great start to your poem, I can't wait to read it when it is finished. Keep writing!

  • 18 years ago

    by Does He Love Me 4 Me

    I think you are on a good job can't wait to read the rest

  • 18 years ago

    by xXxDarkDreamerxXx

    I loved the poem, I think your doing great so far! so keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I think you should take the and from the second line and uppercase that one I. Also it just seems well a bit rushed and not planned out. I.E words and not anything being felt from it. Keep writing though when you can finish it and I'll read it again.

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