Heya bub. mm well this poem is a little all over the place.
you should probably put your sentences into paragraphs so its easier to read (especially for poems).

and you're rhyming... is kind of on and off. so just try to decide if you want it to rhyme or not.

nice try though, keep going at it. i know you can create an absolutely fantastic poem.

nice effort !
take care my dear xx.