God, You taught me that just because I 'm baptized, it doesn't mean I'm going to heaven. We do things because it's traditional. New mercies are given because I gave my life to You. I couldn't express my love for You. Even after everything You brought me through. I was embarrass to thank You openly.
You still loved me when I was doing wrong. I knew it wasn't pleasing to You. I wonder sometimes, will You promise me tomorrow? I don't regret anything You brought me through. I believe You did it so my feelings could grow for You. I can't believe I thought I couldn't talk to You. I was thinking You wouldn't understand. How crazy is that? Even after that thought was eliminated, my secret conversations with You were nothing more than paragraphs containing run-on sentences. How can I beat around the bush with You...knowing full well You are everywhere and in everything?
When I think back on my trials You brought me through, tears of joy come out of me now. You taught me to be prepared for what I pray for. I didn't want to have to go through anything to get it. I've realized that I have to be honest with You. I thought I could keep secrets from You. You showed me that I can't hide anything from You.
Even though I did things with my eyes wide open, knowing that it wasn't pleasing to You. I'm so thankful You kept me. The fact that You're still keeping me, blows my mind everyday I wake up. I should be dead. You did things You knew would make me move. You know once I get comfortable, I stand still. I can't grow if I stay in one place. I appreciate the fact that You take me out of my comfort zones. So, who am I to question you?
