Goodbye

The last time I spoke to you
I told you goodbye
I didnt think youd get it
So I gave it another try

I asked you to say bye to Nathan
The next time youd speak to him
Then I said 'take care Hun'
N told you to also say that to him

You then understood
What I was getting to
But then I went offline
And wouldnt pick up the phone on you

As I was sitting in my room
Writing my letter to Nathan and to you
Having tears run down my cheeks
I thought bout what I was about to do

I took the knife from the kitchen
And my most favourite pin
I was about to cut
When the phone began to ring

I noticed it was Nathan
And so I picked up
After all hes my best friend
And again he started with a 'sup'

He heard the tremble in my voice
And asked me what the matter was
I told him what I was doing
He asked why? I said 'cause'

He spoke to me all night long
And when we said our final goodbye
And got off the phone
I was too tired and just gave out a sigh

Even though I was still alive
But I was dead inside
I didnt pick up the phone on you
I just wanted to hide

Its been quiet a few days
And last night I did what I wanted to do
Im sorry that I picked up the phone
On everyone other than you

The blood was everywhere
Late last night
Normally id be horrified
But last night I had no fright

Why am I here
I want to be with the stars
I dont want to stay here
With nothing but scars

I havent spoken to you in so long
And now I wonder why
I know its all my fault
Now I just sit and cry

I look around me
And see nothing but bills
'Thats it' I think
'Im going for the pills'

I know which ones to take
The sleeping pills are great
My dad would only take 1 for the night
But im gonna take eight

Thats it im in
Im sorry but im not waking up
Next time you call me
I wont be able to pick up

Babe it wasnt your fault
I loved you and I know you loved me
But this life
Its not how I wanted it to be

At least I said my goodbyes
The other night
tell Nathan im sorry
But he wasnt right

I ended up doing it
Even thought he said 'No! Dont!'
Im sorry that I lied
And said 'ok I wont'

so good bye for now
say bye to my family and friends
i loved you heaps
but this is how it was meant to end

~ sorry this poem might be like...shit but i was like half dead when i rote it. not literally....i was just REALY tired. tell me wat you thought of it plz. xoxo ghazal~