Lost desires

Once had it
no longer mine
grieving for it
heal in time

feeling low
mind is numb
pain withers me slow
why did this feeling come

now in this bubble
thoughts shovel deep
constantly in metal trouble
bottles up in a heap

dreams of death
an endless chain
stuffed and sheathed
with desires of pain

insane or sane
real or a game
pleasure of pain
going through this again

why do i think this way
am i doomed i don't know
will i be myself again one day
or is this my future so.....