This is Me

This is me
standing in life
with such grief
Holding on to things
that i know cant
hold me up.Smiles on
the surface but cuts underneath
Faking a smile or a laugh
being true to a
few.But lying my way
through life.Hiding myself
from the world
But here he is standing
next to me,
Trying to break
through my wall of protection
Trying to see me for who i am
But each time i shut him out
Why i do.I'm not sure
Hiding from his grips
I ignore the happiness he brings me
i try to find ways to ruin in it for me.
Fighting withe my heart each moment i get
I cant break from my old lost
losing some one i care about when there is finally some one who cares for me.
Hiding and running from the joy he brings
Doing dumb things to get rid of him....
But i don't want to lose him
I love him
One of these days he is going to figure out
that This isn't
Me.....