I am in pain,
My parents despise me,
They snap every time my mouth opens,
As if I am a burden,
Not worth my cost,
As if my very presence ruins their day.
If only they knew,
If they only knew that everyday I wake up to see their face
And my day starts at an all-time low,
And every time I hear their voice,
Chills run down my back,
For fear that they will instantaneously take away,
What little comfort I have found.
School is a refuge,
A place for me to hide,
Surrounded by people who appear to care for me,
I know most of them donâ??t,
But I like to think that they do.
That is why I live life on a fragile thread,
The longest I have had a friend was three years,
I was so depressed when someone took away that joy in my life,
Then didnâ??t bother to replace it,
I moped around school, and nobody noticed,
Or if they did, the just didnâ??t care.
I have been friendless for some time now,
I thought of High School as a fresh new start,
Where I could try to make friends that will last,
Oh, but silly me,
I forgot about the possibility,
That another school is a major feeder school,
And just my luck,
That most of the people were from the same school,
And that they had no interest in new friends,
Or even if I live or die.
I long for approval of someone,
I try so hard to do well,
But my parents only see the negative,
Everything I do is interpreted as a bad mood,
But they are the ones who put me in a bad mood.
Why was I chosen for this?
Why not someone who has only known happiness?
Why must I be the one to suffer through such hardships?
Why canâ??t I live up to their standards?
I have tried many things,
But all have failed miserably,
I try telling them that I donâ??t like it,
But they tell me to talk when I am not in a bad mood,
This further depresses me,
To the point where I donâ??t know what to do.
Life isnâ??t worth it.
For anyone reading this,
I am sorry for being who I am
