I liked it. 5/5.
-Vino

I liked it and the strong images employed.. very rough - like a car accident - but there's a lot more going on behind that as well.. the beginning really sets you up and pulls you in.. a few times the flow seemed to break up, but that might just have been the way i was reading it;

As breath quickens,

that seems to be what i stumble on at first, but i dunn0.. i loved the build-up you've worked in and

Wailing child,
Trapped,
On the floor,
So young, so new,
Deserving? No,

that part's probably my favorite.. anyway.. i liked the ending a lot, but the syntax of the last line is weird.. as you have it - they shall be the stench, soon.. and that's not really accurate.. i see why you worded it like that, to maintain flow, but im sure you can arrive at the same ending with different words..