I remember

I went to grandma's today
She doesn't remember my name.
"It's takes me some time." she said as she focused in.
Her fragile, worn out body slowly rocking and talking about the pictures on the wall as if it was yesterday.
Then without warning she fades into a time that is only alive in her head.
"five months," she whispers to no one as she glares at the negative of a handsome man standing tall in all brown and a younger much happier Mama Collins.
"I miss him too ma," I grab her icy, thin hand as if it will make it all better.
I'm reaching for words I can put together like a puzzle and place in her pocket.
They never come.
We sit in exterior silence as the clocks ticks.
I try to read her mind.
"it looks like rain, dear." she looks at her hand covered by mine.
I want to hug her and tell her I know how she feels. I want to tell her he will come back if she prays really hard. I want to tell her I can make her happy again. I want to lie so she will smile.
"I'll see you tomorrow grandma. Get some rest."
The clock is still ticking in my mind as I enter my front door.
I opened my window to hear the rain after dinner.
I remember. 2am. Uncle Jeff is calling.
The calming night is interrupted by a ring and a cry.
Crying fills the night.
Lights, men in suits, and familiar faces surround my grandmaâ??s house.
She does not like a lot of people at her house.
I remember. 3:37am. I can hear the ticking as the coroner is putting my grandma in his car.
Five months and three days is the longest Papa Puckett and Mama Collins spent away from each other.