Understand

I'll push at you
I'll make you see
everything you do
takes a little part of me.

Trust is not easy
you don't understand
I can't undo the past
It's not under my command.

You look at me
like I did something wrong
how can I make you see
that I have to be strong?

You don't understand
that everything I do
it's not planned
but I do it for you.

Is it so much to ask
to give me some time
to get rid of the mask
to be freed from my crime?

Can't you understand
that I need to be free
the torment is plaguing
it's chasing me.

One day I'll be able to trust you
without regret
one day you'll see what I do
it's for the best.

How can I make you see
I am the rock
for my friends, for my family?

I am the ground on which they stand
how could I take that away?
I just can't.

Maybe I'm still a kid,
but I have so much on myself
It would be easier if I just hid
but instead I stealth.

I wish I could reveal
all the pain to you
maybe then I could heal
if only you knew..

I am so ashamed
when I break down and cry
when I thinks it's best
if I would just die.

I hate my weakness
don't you see?
I regress
and it takes every part of me.

How could you know what it's like
to not make the best of things?
I try to fake it
but I never like what that brings.

I've played my role
in this life
I've lost control
wanting to end the fight.

I see myself as worthless,
how could you know?
I confess
I still live in long ago.

No,
you could never know
I could never tell you
or even let it show.

I live for you and you alone
why can't you have a little faith?
Don't have fear of the unknown
just know that I want to be safe.

Know that I will tell you in time,
have a little patience
you will soon find
why I put up the pretense.