I love you so much

The phone is held tightly
between my cheeck and my pillow
I'm hating that you don't know I'm hurt
I'm hating that I can't let it show

But when I do let it out
it all comes out wrong
Then we get into a big arguement
and I feel a piece of me is gone

And I hate whenever you tell me
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY I'M SORRY?"
"WILL YOU BE HAPPY THAT WAY?"

NO I WILL NOT BE HAPPY THAT WAY!
I WILL IF YOU JUST SHUT UP!
JUST TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN!
UNDERSTAND WHAT I GOT MAD OF!

I'm just trying to tell you
that I wanted to talk to you all night
I just wanted us to be happy
but nothing comes out right

I also wanted to tell you about yesterday
when you hanged up on me to go to sleep
I felt as if you did not care
I felt my heart sink in deep

Yes I know you care
But I feel it's only for certain moments
only when I'm happy and really sweet
but when I'm not you never seem to show it

I feel at times I give you so much
that I make sure you know you're loved
I tell you I miss you and I need you
and you're the one I'm thinking of

I wish you knew that loving you hurts me
like a feeling I never had
it hurts that at times when I'm not happy
the only thing I do is get you mad

And you tell me all these things
that make my heart beat so slowly
that makes me want to scream so loud
because I know you do not know me

I have a strong feeling inside
that I'm feeling just for you
and no matter how much you say you love me
I don't know what to do

I fear that one day I'll lose you
I fear that what you're feeling is not real
I fear you'll find someone better
and I fear the truth you'll reveal

I love you so much
I want you to feel the same
I always find myself missing you
always thinking of your name

I want to cherish every moment
at times it feels so good
feels good to hear you say you love me
and talk about us the best way we could

I love you so much
I often cry
my tears have meanings
But I can not explain why

I don't cry for attention
I cry cuz my heart is letting it out
I cry instead of screaming
thats what I cry about

I'm sorry
I don't want to get you mad
I'm sorry
I don't want to make your day bad

Baby I'm sorry with all my heart
I love you more than you'll ever know
I fear many things
but my biggest fear is you letting me go