Regrettful goodbye

Here i stand
yet once again
wishing the pain away

nothing left to lose
nothing left to gain
its time to choose

do i leave or stay?
im so confused
why did it turn out this way?

they say life is a wonderful miracle
maybe they"re right
maybe they"re wrong

but who cares?
every one knows
too much of anything
be it good or bad
poisons you

that"s why im forced to choose
do i leave or stay?
im getting angry now
it didnt have to be this way

im toying with the thought
of ending it all
lost and alone
i take the fall

people tell me
that they are here to help me
but it"s turned out to be a lie
i know no one will care
when i decide to live or die

people tell me they understand
but how in the hell can they?
when it"s something they"ve never been through themselves ?

but now im off the subject
what was it again?
oh yes i remember
taking away the pain

this world holds too much sorrow
blocking all joy
with no hope for a tomorrow
why should i stay?

with no promises of a brighter future
why should i desire to live in vain?
thinking someday i can be happy
would be living a lie

my heart is heavy with despair
im breathing it in
as i would air
with each passing moment
my reasons to live grow weaker

Now my choice i have made
i leave behind the misery i knew
but for my choice a price is paid
for my loved ones, my debt is due

as i watch in horror
i realize the mistake
seeing my loved ones, lost in grief
my cold heart aches
i"ve stolen their happiness, like a selfish thief

too late now to remedy this
on the soft breeze
i give my mother a kiss
i tell my family im sorry
and hope they can hear me
i wish they wouldnt cry
i tell them i love them
then silently i say goodbye