Comments : Angel

  • 18 years ago

    by Vegetable

    This is alright. My favorite lines are these:

    "You carry a sweet smell
    That hypnotizes me"

    However I think it is a little cliche to say a body part and why you like it. Also you dont use alot of strong adjectives (smart can be intelligent or clever....) so I don't get the feeling that I can REALLY see the person you are describing. Lastly try to keep the same tense throughout the poem
    "Which had never met mine" should be which have never met mine, to be consistent. Just a few suggestions.