Throwing Water on the Mirror

You said you didn't love me
yet, that was just a lie
for if you don't love a girl like me,
why do you stop me when I cry?

You said you didn't need me
that you were better off alone
you say the only reason
you protect me
is because thats all you've ever known.

You said you didn't care
and yet I don't believe you
you don't know
how much I love you
you haven't really got a clue.

I sit and stare at my flaky image
oh how it wanders into screams
and everything about you
drips on into my dreams.

I see my image staring back
and wonder why I'd ever smile
I've walked on many of glass before, just whats another pile?

I hold my arms up to the light
to see my engraved body skill
but nobody can stop me
for cutting is a thrill.

It never takes that much
to push someone over the edge
but to stop hurting myself
is that really even a pledge?

How much pain can one take
how much fear can one concur
my life has been a big mistake
and death is my demeaner.

How many bullots would it take
to stop my hand from shooting
and in my heart, the timer ticks
often a case of disputing.

How many shooting stars linger
and how many wishes do I make
is that face really a face I know
or is it a girl I always fake?

Is it a teardrop or a lie
is it a crime to live?
is it wrong to want to die
or will my heart forgive?

Pick a tear drop from my rain garden, and preserve me as your pain, for I was never once a girl,
holding a laughter I can't attain.

I'll be gone someday
and an imprint I can't leave
my spirit left unwanted
for myself I grieve.

I come home at night
and alone I sometimes cry
throw water on my mirror
then reality won't be my last tear.

And maybe in heaven I won't long to die.