Reflection

My reflection is not as it seems,
I put on a smile
while tearing at my seams.

My life is jaded,
I run through the days,
naked and hated,
trying to change my ways.

I've been stripped to the bone,
unable to feel,
looking for something
that's even close to 'real'.

I can't feel my body,
but my heart is beating faster,
soon I hope,
quickly disembodied.

I'm losing myself
slow is it may seem,
my life is fading fast,
I wish it weren't a dream.

My days are so slow,
I can't find anything to hold,
I'm searching for my rock,
I'm starting to unfold.

If this blood was real,
I don't know what I'd do
the situation would be ideal.
The moment stands still.

My reflection shows
that unseen
the happy me
the one impossible to be.

I can't help frowning
from time to time
wondering if things will get better,
being caught up in the rhyme.

Is this all a riddle,
one big joke,
the life I'm living,
it's all a hoax.

I'm mad at the world,
I'm lost and I'm cold,
I find no shelter from the storm,
I find no life to hold.

Things are getting darker,
I now can barely see,
I just wanted to tell you I love you,
because this isn't just a dream.