Why must it be this way

Why must I still feel the pain
even after two years

I'm happy with the one I have
but my mind still drifts to you
I wonder if your happy with her
if you still think of me too

but most of all I wonder
what if,
what if nothing ever went wrong
what if you never got with her, and I never got with him

I still can't stop missing you
although I have moved on
there is still that ache deep down
an ache for the past,
an ache for the familiar

you're one of the few
I can feel comfortable with
one of the few
I'm really gonna miss

I know I have to let go
I have tried so hard
for so long

but I think you're the one
I'll never truly forget
the one I can't completely leave behind

you were my first love
I must admit
that seems to intimidate others

you have left shoes
that no one else can fill

why can't I just let you go?
why can't I forget the pain and smiles?
why can't this be easier?
why can't you disappear like all the rest?

I can't go on like this
I simply can't

I have to find a way to completely erase you from memory.