Gone in the Morning

I'm throwing words around
like you don't matter
to me
anymore.

But if you truly know me
like I hope you do
you'll see
it's just an act.

I push you out of my mind
but you wander back again
persistant are my memories
of you.

It plays in my head
a million times over
the way we met again
the way I found you.

Loud music, hazy air at the party
I locked myself in the bathroom
for a break from it all
and there you were.

Slumped against a wall in the dark
I saw you looking up at me
whether you truly saw me
I wasn't sure.

And then we were kissing
there, on the bathroom floor
but then I don't remember much
after that.

You came into my life
then left me alone
all in the course
of an hour.

You still enter my thoughts
uninvited and unsettling to me
I find myself confused
and worried about you.

Drugs, alcohol, suicide
they all scream your name
I fear the phone call
saying you're dead.

I place my head to the pillow
wondering if you'll make it
through another weekend
or if you'll be gone in the morning.