its forgiveness, its forgetting, its remembering it in time
its reliving all the memories, but pretending they're not mine
its like this question i can't answer but can easily ignore
because i'm trying, but i'm not sure what i'm really trying for.
i see smiles and i hear laughter, but its all surreal and out of touch
i'm disconnect from the world; i don't miss it all that much.
i'm an outcast, i'm invisible. i know i'm a failure, but in who's eyes?
its not me; its not myself they see. they only know me by disguise.
i exist in rhymed lines on a page, only to be read, not seen
because its not about who i am; its all about who i've been.
at one time i could've told them; at one point they might have asked
but at that moment i was too wrapped up in the life i didn't have.
and its now that i'm awake that i'm willing to accept this change
because its forgiveness; its forgetting that it'll never be the same.
its a minute, its an hour, its the rest of my life happening now
its also irreversable, leaving me breathless yet still alive somehow
because its a movie, its a oscar film playing out right before my eyes
i'm watching me; it seems that i'm the star, and i'm starring in my life.
but the lines just aren't quite right, i'm tripping over words; i fall
i'm disorganized and disappointed, i don't even know my role at all.
i'm frustrated and confused with the lack of support i receive
its one thing to threaten to up and go; its another thing to leave.
it seemed i was strong to fight this battle on my own, but then i lost
and i was all broken and outspoken; i just kept my fingers crossed.
reality, my enemy. i found myself unprepared when i stumbled in
for my shades of black and white didn't blend; the colors took the win.
it was contrast, it was complex. it was intricate, resolved.
its only a minute in a hour to catch the world before it falls.
its hope and its belief; its deceit and those always obvious lies
its the tears and the blood that fall from seemingly unaware eyes
its all the averted glances and the ones who pretend they never saw
this life that fell apart before them; they were witness to it all.
i take the blame, but i'm a quitter. i don't expect to see this through
all along i've been hiding behind something; i like to call it the truth
its the forgiveness i forgot, as i remembered what was mine
the memories that i threw away; the moments lost in time
i'm a liar, they're all fools. they think they know the me i don't
i know i'm weak and quite unable; they think i'll try. i know i won't.
its the lines in black font upon a page of lost confessions
written with the utmost care; i'm striving for perfection.
because i'm okay, i'm just fine; i'm as perfect as i'll ever be
i'm a wreck, i'm a mess. but you know what? that's okay with me.
