Comments : Staring at the sky

  • 18 years ago

    by Monique

    Heyy
    wow.. different, unique, brilliant, hehe. Every line seemed to have a meaning.:)

  • 18 years ago

    by Biscuit

    Wowo i really felt like i was there! great descriptions adn the changed of style has obv worked well for you. just one sugestion, the first line
    - The fallen tree; once mighty has fallen
    i think you should change the first 'fallen' to some other adjective because, erm, well i just think it would make it better! xx

  • 18 years ago

    by xDryTearsx

    Very unique i like how you were staring at the sky at the end of every stanza
    the imagry was beautiful on this poem i really liked it.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    But the world is out there,
    Beyond the woodland fringe,
    Where ambience destroyed,
    This peace in pieces.
    And I'm reminded of,
    This time, like the stream, that trickles slowly by,
    Whilst I'm staring at the sky.

    The last stanza was deifnately the best - excellently written - it was a brilliant and very original piece of poetry.

    Peace. [Sole]