The Thought

When I look in a mirror, I don't like what I see.
This is not the way I want to be.
I wonder why I can't change.
I want to be shot at point blank range.

I can't stop carving things in my skin.
Does it even matter if I sin?
I can't go on living this way.
I struggle to make it through everyday.

Should I use lethal injection?
Or just catch a man eating infection?
I could die by a drink.
How far will my emotions sink?

Why am I even here to live?
I don't have anything to give.
Most of the time I don't give a f*ck.
I am not worth a million or one buck.

I stay in my shell.
Will I go to heaven or hell?
I know that I am living wrong.
But held on for this long.