Given up

I think that i have given up
on all that i believed
i think that i have lost all hope
and all that i received

i think this is the end for me
i cant live another day
my mind and thoughts are all messed up
Ive gotten here someway

i no longer no my feelings
i cant figure out my thoughts
i don't know what I'm thinking
i forget what Ive been taught

suicide was stuck in my head
but id never do that deed
my life has certainly gone wrong
i realize that when i bleed

my next thought was to get high
or stoned so i couldn't feel
but when i tried those things
every thing felt so unreal

my friends don't even see
the pain inside i bare
but to most I'm invisible
so happiness is the mask i wear

i know that i have given up
i can feel it deep within
i cant control my mind no more
another battle i cease to win