Im fat mom, and im ok with it

I scream in my head mom
but my yells you cant hear
to you its but a mumble
to me its crystal clear

you have no idea what it does to me
your honesty, your truth
from anyone else it would be okay
but mom, not from you

your supposed to be the one mom
i can go to when im down
your supposed to say im perfect the way i am
when, to you, i frown

but your the worst of all mom
you call me ugly and big
you make me feel horrible saying
im one of your fattest kids

i watch you look at pictures mom
of becka and me
and only about becka have you said
that you liked what you see

you wish i looked more like becka mom
believe me, i wish it too
but not because i care what i look like
but because you do

i want you to be proud of me mom
because of my intelligence and my smarts
because i hang out with the right people
because i have a golden heart

but your just like everyone else mom
it doesnt matter whats within
as long as we are beautiful
no one will look beneath the skin

you told me not to care mom
what people thought and what they said
and your voice is the only one i hear
floating around in my head

i remember the things you say mom
i listen to the problems you have
i understand what you say
about my siblings and dad

than i sit there as you vent on me
the insults bruise my soul
and though i seem to be fine mom
inside i lose control

only your thoughts mattered mom
still only your thoughts do
i look myself in the mirror
and think how it\'d look to you

wanting to be your perfect child mom
be your dream and what your wishing
i have the mind you want me to have
its just the body im missing

and if i had the chance mom
id get surgery just for you
id give my life to give you
me, new and improved

but here in reality mom
things dont happen quite like that
i for one have come to terms
that i will forever be what you call \"fat\"

and im okay with that mom
if only you could be
and im sorry to dissapoint you mom,
but this Fluffy girl is me