That is my Cost

All alone
At home
I walk to the wooden table
I already know my label
I'm supposed to be the best
But this life is just like a test
I pick up the silver blade
My eyes, a black shade
I hold out my own arm
To cause myself this harm
I slide it slowly across
I feel my heart toss
I watch the red substance
It takes away the tense
A few more times
The doorbell chimes
I'm now all clean
Nothing to be seen
I put on that smile
This is my denial
What they don't know cannot hurt them
Even if tomarrow I will be cutting on my limb
When I slide that blade across
That is my cost