We were walking down the street when I felt it.
No, I guess felt wouldn't be the right word.
I didn't feel anything. My emotional feel was numb,
and physically there was only the cold wind
and the tingling in my feet.
I had never known such a lack of emotion before.
Never knew it was quite that possible.
I was cold and confused.
I listened to them talk and I tried to reply.
But I couldn't.
My voice was powerless and words seemed impossible.
So I used the only sense I had left,
And I watched my world around me.
I watched as the leaves drifted off the branches,
and thought an odd thing.
I thought that they were leaving their home,
unable to return.
But I knew that pain.
I had felt the unbearable pain
of not being able to return to a home.
And as the vehicles rode by,
I wondered what kind of life the people inside led.
Has anyone else thought these things?
Has anyone else walked the town and watched
as the lights glowed upon the deep dark sky?
Or am I the only one to wonder this?
Am I the only one to stare at the silver moon
and wonder what it tastes like to bite into the night sky?
Maybe I'll never know.
And I'm afraid I'll never understand.
But with these thoughts, I walked with pride,
knowing I no longer hid.
I no longer walked into a building and looked
for the closest place to duck.
I now walked into this building with dignity.
I knew I was nothing but myself.
But I didn't know if that thought made me happy..
or scared.
When I walked around the town that night,
I had no idea what I was in for.
I had no idea that my most loathed enemy
would meet me when I got home.
But as I walked in my door, I felt it.
I immediately headed for my room.
I walked through my door and felt sick.
There it was.. the enemy.
I looked into my mirror
and stared back at my reflection,
finally realizing the pain I hated of myself.
So I handled it.
And I handled it by myself.
No one knows what happened that night,
and it's unfortunate that no one ever will.
But people know the start of this end,
and I share this now with you.
Because the night I faced my fear
was long time coming.
So I picked up the knife
and felt the coldness of the blade on my wrist.
I closed my eyes as tight as I could..
And then..
And then I...
The End.
