Isolation

by PS   Apr 3, 2006


Stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

my friends are around me
with lots of love
but i dont feel it
not a teeny bit

family says it loves me
but doesnt ever listen
why should I care
if they dont let me share

stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

go to a school
to see the guys stare
at another teen freak
with a winter tan, blonde hair

part of one group
part of another
not really part of anything
just another loner

stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

band geeks and
premature greeks
im part of the drama club
and still so meek

girls getting hair done
manicures and toes
hey i play in my front yard
am the one that mows

stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

*for the poetry game, extended for a song contest. *sigh* im a aware that the rhyme scheme changes.

4/3 edited- took out the bit at the end. i agree with comments its more of a poem still. i guess im not a song writer

original:
stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

my friends are around me
with lots of love
but i dont feel it
not one teeny bit

family says it love me
but doesnt ever listen
why should care
if they dont let me share

stuck in a crowd
with nothing to say
im all alone baby
at the end of the day

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    I think that the repeated stanza was used very effectively and that I thinkj prefer the original version its consiseness really brought out the isolation...sometimes less is more and I think it could have worked well here....all in all a great poem.

    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 18 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    Its a song? Ohhhh!! I get it now, lol!!!

    Well. I mean. It was unique and attention grabbing, short with the style, but in a captivating way.

    Not too bad at all.

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen~Tears

    Ya im gonna agree wiht kaylee^^ it was just okay for me.. keep it up and keep writting!!

    ~!*FallenTears~!*
    ~!*Meaghen~!*

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    Well it's sort of oaky. I like the chorus but I think it would work better as just being a poem. It's nice though, just seems more fitting as a poem.

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