Well it's sort of oaky. I like the chorus but I think it would work better as just being a poem. It's nice though, just seems more fitting as a poem.

Ya im gonna agree wiht kaylee^^ it was just okay for me.. keep it up and keep writting!!

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

Its a song? Ohhhh!! I get it now, lol!!!

Well. I mean. It was unique and attention grabbing, short with the style, but in a captivating way.

Not too bad at all.

I think that the repeated stanza was used very effectively and that I thinkj prefer the original version its consiseness really brought out the isolation...sometimes less is more and I think it could have worked well here....all in all a great poem.

[lostlaureate - come find me]