The meaning of life...

I woke so suddenly
In the middle of the night
The pain was so excruciating
I quickly turned on the light

I started breathing heavy
And it felt like the pain was gone
But still I got a little scared
And I felt so all alone

I didnâ??t know what to do
My mind was raising very fast
The pain started to come again
But I knew it wouldnâ??t last

I concentrated on my breathing
Remembering what I learned
Even though I felt like exploding
and my hole body burned

I knew I had to call
Let them know it had started
But it felt good being the only one
Like a secret I was guarding

Still I picked up the phone
And talked to someone there
It felt like I was ruining something
Like a secret I unwillingly shared

The pain got harder
And I could hardly stand up
Even thought I concentrated hard
The pain just wouldnâ??t stop

I didnâ??t want to scream
So I whispered silently in his ear
Darling you have too wake up
While I silently cried just one tear

He opened his eyes slowly
And looked drousy at me
Like he was still dreaming
And didnâ??t really see

Suddenly he woke
And now he could see
This was the time
I had something to set free

He asked me caringly:
Are you ok, is something wrong
I didn`t know what to say
But I knew I had to stay strong

Then it started up again
The pain suddenly hit
It was so unbaringly
I perplexly said : oh shit

Then he suddenly realized
What was really going on
He got quickly to his feet
And suddenly he was gone

Wait for me I screamed
And he came rushing back
I didnâ??t mean to forget you he said
But sympathy he lacked

We drove to the hospital
Where they waited for us
I didnâ??t want to go there
My head was full og if`s and butt`s

I wanted to feel safe
To just go home
To turn around and forget it
An just be all alone

I missed that feeling of control
Like this my body can do
I donâ??t need anyone to do this
They still donâ??t have a clue

But they took my clothes
And puched me in a bed
They just didnâ??t listen
Or care what I said

But I didnâ??t care anymore
The pain was all I knew
Nobody understood me
They didnâ??t have a clue

When they told me to push
I found the strength inside
Like someone helped me out
Like my body was my guide

They gave me a little bundle
Laid it soflty on my chest
Told me it was over
And now I could finally rest

I looked down in my arms
And saw two very dark eyes
They were so new to life
They had never experienced lies

They were the very meaning of life
It was my little babygirl
Something inside me changed
Forever my hole worldâ?¦

Dedicated to my little babygirl Mina who is my hole reason for livingâ?¦