Empty

I cant help but ignore my feelings
I dont want to feel pain
I dont want to hurt
I try to put it all in the past
But It doesnt help me
It drives me insane
First love cannot be forgotten
Im in another phase in life
that you are not by my side
Its hard to see all the things Ive gone through
Thank You
For being there for me
For helping me build up to the person I am now
You taught me to stay away from people like you
Dillusional as it seems, I thank you
I cant say Ill never love again
but I know I cant feel like that at the moment
Im scared of a relationship
Im scared of being me
Im afraid of being lonely
That is why I keep you with me till this day