My Life

I’d love to be the good child
Who always does things right
It’s just my brother is not so wild
And he doesn’t cry into the night

My mother likes to give him
Nice sweets and little toys
But she tells me off for being dim
I can’t keep up with little boys

I try so hard to be nice
I love everyone so much and try so hard
But the more sugar I put in out comes more spice
I fear my life will forever be marred

I don’t deserve the bruises and the cuts
The shouting and the pain
My family keeps getting into ruts
And never comes out again

I love to keep things neat
My plants outside have flourished
Except that every thing I do is a feat
Of incompetence that will be punished

I don’t deserve to live like this
I know so many who don’t
Who live in complete and total bliss
And have so many happinesses I won’t

And now my friends have turned away
They don’t want to know anymore
I got cross with them once and into the fray
Came anger they had never seen before

I wish they didn’t make me so mad,
Make me the evil one,
I really am not so bad
I just have some things that haven’t been done

I don’t want to hurt myself so much
To cut and to maim
It’s just that I really need a crutch
Someone who I can blame

The anorexia is really getting me down
They councillors don’t know anything
They just shake their heads and frown
And give my parents a ring

The teachers at school ask me about my cuts
But just think I’m accident prone
My councillor looks at me and just tuts
All they have to do is pick up the phone

I wish they would find out someday
Realise the pain that they confused
For an just another teenager in disarray
While there was a child being abused

I hate them now, they’ve no idea
Of the anger and the pain
I wish they just would give my voice an ear
So they would listen to the words, and the rain
That constantly surrounds me, oh, and the screams
Of people that want this and that, and this and that again, oh, how they scream