So i liked the overall message/content but couldnt help but wonder if it'd be better if you weren't so worried about the structure and rhymes.. it just seems like it's a bit forced at times and maybe because you had to write within the constraints.. other than that i liked the poem.. the ending line specifically, to me, seems forced.. anyway good job th0.. pZ

Wow somebody hurt you didn't they? I totally understand that! I just went through the same thing. It's awesome how you can express that through poetry! Such beautiful way to handle sadness! great work!

Hmm.
I showed it to someone I know. Their wise words:

"*laughs*...is it meant to be funny?"

^Oh boy.

Anyways, I personally thought it was forced more the second time, because you had to change the whole line to make it fit the rhyming. But you should be going with whatever one you like better.
Take care.

For the one line that ends in dreams it breaks the rythm pattern of the rest with the every other word rhymes with the 2nd line above it... but over all i like it alot. it almost sounded like a chant at first like a witches spell at first but by the end i didnt think that anymore. :) good job!

Good pem