Hopeful

by xX-jess-Xx   Apr 7, 2006


I see a single mother,
with her little baby boy.
She struggles through the hurt and pain,
with her tiny bundle of joy.

I see an outcast child,
with taunts to devastate,
His broken home is hard enough,
with no dad that motivates.

I see a drunken father,
With a life of drugs he chose.
Wheres all his money going?
It's going up his nose.

I see a concerned teacher,
With a kid thats being "kicked in"
His bruises are getting worse and worse,
theres no way he can win.

I see a depressed teenager,
still lacking motivation.
His mum died and his dad doesn't care,
It's too much aggravation.

I see my big brother,
With so much courage and strength.
He carries the weight of both us,
and would go to any length.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Great write, the flow was decent as well as the rhyme, there was only one time when I thought that your rhyme was a bit forced, but it's not like the whole poem was forced, haha. soo good job. :] I thought this poem was kind of unique in a way, because I'm guessing this is talking from times that you've seen these things occur in life. I loved the last stanza.. the person you talk about is related to you.. while the others are not.. I just liked that for some reason. Great job. 5/5.

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    But shes hopeful,
    [[should be "she's"]]
    theres hope.
    [[should be "there's"]]
    But still, hes hopeful,
    [[should be "he's"]]
    Wheres all his money going?
    [[should be "where's"]]

    I liked the message in this poem, but the flow did seem a little rocky from time to time. It was good though. Keep it up!

    Natalie``

    {P.S. The poem "Lost In A Portrait" is that short because it was entered into a contest where you could only write 10 lines max. =)}

  • 18 years ago

    by Rosie

    Omg i LUUUV this poem!!! it's sooooo sad!!!! you did a great good!!! keep up the good work!!! 5/5!

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I stopped reading the repetitive part after a while but I'll tell you the reason in a bit.

    The organization was realy good. I mean, the concept was different because it told a couple of different stories instead of just one but still tied together. Great organization. I love it.

    I think the repetitive part was off a bit. It just didn't seem to be worded quite right to fit in with the rest of it. It was placed in all the right areas, though.
    Overall 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by TormentedSoul

    I really liked this poem alot! great job!

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