Your poem was excellent im f what happen to your bestfriend.But that poem that you wrote speaks to alot of people and you could tell that you put your heart into it.

This is a nice poem! yet very sad! keep it up!

It's strange that you blame yourself and him. I'm surprised that you're not angry with him in fact.

As far as the technical aspects of your poem goes it lacks the flourish that you could have. On the other hand I know that is about raw emotion and that is related in the way you have written this poem.

Punctuation in a poem is vital for guiding the reader. In this case it's not that important because it is displayed line by line, sentence by sentence, but there is where the problem lies (for me at least). It feels more like a letter than a poem. What can you change here to make it feel less like a collection of thoughts and more like prose?

Bret