A bit too gory for my liking but well written, good descriptions xx

Very sad poem. But believe it or not you have the ability to describe how many may feel. The poem was very well written and this style of poetry is hard (at least for me) to write in.

Only one thing (and again this is just my opinion) there are a few lines that rhye that end with the same word...in a poem it is nice to use different words at the end of a line to rhyme...although sometimes thia can be very hard to do depending on the sentiment you are trying to get across to your readers. All in all it was very sad but a good write!! I ave a poem similar to this as well....it helps me to write my fdeelings down when i start to fall back into this type of behaviour.