This was okay, still think you should have your poems a bit longer and more thought through.

This rictameter works well because you are able to describe just one particular but significant moment using the format. As for the idea it is definately from a point of view that we do not often see. I like how the tone of the poem changes mid-way, in the beginning it is optimistic and naive whereas towards the end it becomes more melancholy, as if written from a more
experienced perspective. At the end, I like how with the mirroring of the first and last line you bring everything back to that beginning moment.

Really nice.. its sometimes hard to capture the true feelings meant when using structured poetry, but you kept it well here!!